Confusion at Honolulu Heights
by stranded-on-an-island
Summary: Hal, Alex, and Tom wake up to find that their supernatural abilities have been swapped among each other. Living together just got more complicated. A ridiculously silly AU-type scenario. Don't look for logic here, for there is none.
1. Things That Make No Sense

(This is basically my first attempt at posting my stuff, so I apologize for any impending cringing or head-to-wall whacking you might feel the need to do.)

* * *

Hal knew that he should have realized something was wrong the moment he stopped hearing the sound of heartbeats echoing in his mind. His head had also cleared up surprisingly fast soon after, and for the first time in decades he felt like a new man. A new man with no worries gnawing at his mind.

For once, he chose not to question why Lady Luck was on his side.

Which was a mistake.

He realized that the second he woke up the next day and passed the hallway mirror on his way to the kitchen. His legs instantly froze in front of the frame.

"...what?" was all he could muster at the sight of his reflection. His eyes refused to believe what they were seeing. Yet there it was. His reflection, starting back at him, just as surprised.

He glared at it for what felt like hours until a series of footsteps sounded from the staircase. Tom and Alex were headed downstairs to clear up the mess of plates and glasses that had piled up from the previous night. Both of them looked at gob-stricken Hal for a second, before going on with their business.

"What's with him?" Tom asked putting away several plastic cups into a bin bag.

Alex shrugged. "Staring contest with his phantom reflection?"

"Told you we shouldn't have dragged him to that bar last night."

Alex almost laughed. "But you have to agree that Drunk Hal's always entertaining to have around."

"We better make sure he's okay, though" Tom said, dropping the bin bag. He crossed to the other side of the room. "You feeling alright, mate?"

He stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he saw Hal's reflection."What? How's that possible?"

"I don't know" Hal said, dazed, "I think maybe I'm dreaming."

"Think I'm dreaming too?"

The guys hadn't even noticed Alex was standing behind them. The mirror displayed nothing where her reflection was supposed to be cast.

"I'm not the only one seeing this, am I?" Alex asked, spooked.

She slowly moved her arms in the air and gestured, but the mirror image stayed the way it was. It was like she wasn't even there.

"Is that what I really look like?" Hal asked, feeling foolish.

"Is he really more disturbed by his appearance than by my lack of reflection?" Alex asked Tom. The werewolf just shrugged.

"I thought I'd be more imposing, taller" Hal went on, ignoring everyone "I mean I fought in wars, shook hands with political figures and stood alongside them in the most critical of times..."

Several minutes passed until Hal had gotten used to the sudden appearance of his reflection, and the three were seated at the table. But in the face of this unprecedented situation, no one had any idea how to act.

For a while no one said a word, as if they were waiting for something.

But whatever that was, it wasn't happening.

In the awkwardness that was slowly building up, Tom decided that some tea would liven things up. It didn't, but at least the three now had something to do instead of sitting around, wracking their brains for an answer that didn't seem possible.

"Doesn't look like we're getting anywhere sitting around here" Alex said, looking at the others. "We need to figure out what's going on."

"I wouldn't know where to start" Tom said.

Hal just shook his head, confused. "This has never happened before to any vampire or ghost."

"Maybe... the mirror has some sort of magical properties?" Alex said hopeful. "Annie never told us who this place belonged to, did she? Maybe the owner was a warlock."

Hal scoffed. "Warlocks don't exist."

"Says the vampire."

"Ex-vampire, by the way things are going so far..." He rubbed his head. "I should have known something was wrong last night. Everything was just too... _quiet. _I've been having no dark thoughts or sounds or urges. It doesn't make any sense. This hasn't happened to me since I was alive."

Alex shrugged. "But isn't that good?"

"Nothing good comes in this world without a price. And it's only a matter of time before we find out what it is."

"D'you think that maybe one of us caused this?" Tom asked suddenly.

"Three supernaturals living under one roof... Something odd happening sounds about right. Could have been any one us." Alex said. She then paused for a second. "Though I'm betting it's Hal."

Hal's tea cup fell onto the table. "_Me_?"

"Well you're the only one who's getting better. You've got your reflection and a clear head. Meanwhile I'm fading away even faster than I was before."

"You're seriously accusing me of stealing your _reflection_?"

"Oi! Fighting ain't gonna do us a bit of good now, will it?" Tom said, breaking the tension. "Now you two be quiet and drink your tea."

Tom picked up his own mug and had a taste. Which promptly splashed onto the ground. The three were motionless for a moment. Realization quickly hit Alex.

"Tom, that's exactly what happened to me when I first tried to drink something after I... died."

Hal suddenly felt the penny drop."Of course...Whoever did this to us switched up our supernatural abilities. We're each turning into each other's monster."

Alex frowned. "Why would anyone do that?"

"I don't know. But at least now we have an idea of what's happening. You took on my vampire non-reflection and Tom is picking up your ghost abilities."

"So that would make you the werewolf" Tom said.

"I suppose so."

"I hope not, mate, 'cause uh... tomorrow's the full moon."

Hal's expression froze. "What?"

"But nothin might even happen to you. I mean so far all we know is that a few of our abilities've been swapped, we don't know if everything else goes along with it. I mean I don't see Alex having any fangs or black eyes or anythin. I'll probably be the one to change tomorrow."

"Wouldn't that make you a werewolf-ghost? Is that even possible?"

"I think it would be best if we both prepared for the unpredictable. Having a vampire-werewolf suddenly change in the house sounds really risky."

"So you'll be running around a forest tomorrow night, then?"

Tom and Alex found it amusing to picture him doing such a very un-Hal thing.

"This is serious" Hal said, standing away from the table. "We'll all have to be prepared for whatever happens to us tomorrow. We'll most likely either advance into our respective state and develop our abilities... or turn into whatever atrocity morphing two monsters can result."


	2. An Ill Timed Kidnapping

I always thought that Tom and Hal worked in a sort of diner or fast-food chain. But wikipedia says café, so that's what I'm going with. Also, thank you for the nice comments! I expected my first post to majestically crash and burn, so I really appreciate the warm welcome.

* * *

Faced with a rather unusual situation, the three decided that the best course of action was to stay away from humanity for the day. There was just too much confusion and uncertainty in the air, and trying to mix the aspects of a normal life wouldn't have lead to anything positive.

For most of the day, the house was rather quiet. Hal tried to keep his head in check by re-organizing the spice rack in the kitchen, while Alex and Tom watched TV. Even though there wasn't a lot of chatter going around, the general consensus was that whatever weird curse had been placed on them would dissipate if they'd stay off the radar for a while and give it enough time.

For all they knew everything would return to normal after a good night's sleep.

Tom woke the next morning in good spirits and almost feeling like his old self. Unfortunately, he woke up looking rather translucent.

Which is why a house meeting was called.

The three gathered around the kitchen table, all trying not to looking at Tom slowly fading in an out.

"So" Hal said eventually, "judging by Tom's current state, it looks like our previous attempts at ignoring the problem haven't exactly caused it to go away."

"I don't think I like the idea of being stuck a ghost" Tom said "I'd never get to eat the turkey sandwich I made last night."

"We'll get to the bottom of this somehow. We just need to be careful about it."

"Well we can't very well stay locked in the house forever" Alex said, "we need to find out what caused this."

"But we're not exactly fit for the outside world now, are we?"

Alex shrugged."Well it's not like we were before this happened."

"But this is vastly different. We don't know what's happening to us and how that could affect everything. For all we know-" Hal suddenly stopped, apparently mesmerized by the glossy surface of the table.

"What's going on?" Alex asked Tom.

"I suppose seeing himself everyday still takes some gettin used to." Tom waved a hand in front of him "You alright, mate?"

"What? Oh, of course" Hal said, snapping out of it, "now, what I was saying is that, until we figure this out we need to keep away from the outside world as much as we can."

Alex frowned. "So we're basically under house arrest?"

"Well, in a sense, but-"

"What about groceries?" Tom asked.

"I suppose we could make that the exception-"

"What about work?"

"Yeah, what about rent?" Alex added.

Hal rubbed his head, trying to keep it from exploding.

"Alright, listen" he said "we are dangerous people right now. Maybe even more than we were until now. We don't know how this transformation will affect us, or how it will affect the people we come in contact with, so until we find out how this happened, it is imperative that we never leave each other's sight."

"All of this seems a bit excessive, if you ask me" Alex said" You're just makin a bigger deal that it is. I mean I don't feel any different than I used to, and you definitely seem-"

"Alex, your eyes just turned black."

"_What?_"

She quickly turned her gaze down at the reflective surface of a knife. But there was no mirror image. "Well that's gonna be bloody annoying to get used to..."

"It looks like our respective transformations are accelerating" Hal said, "so we need to start keeping a close eye on each other. Make sure none of us get out of control and cause a disturbance."

"How're we supposed to do that?" Tom asked.

"We stay indoors. And we're taking today off work because we're entitled to one every few weeks."

Tom's voice went small. "Hal, we skipped work yesterday."

"...dammit."

* * *

Tom, Hal, and Alex were sitting behind the counter in the café, trying to look and behave as normal as possible. Luckily, things were rather quiet, leaving the three plenty of time to sit around and not worry about a sudden flood of customers.

"This place smells awful" Hal said, realizing his new-found sense of smell didn't always have its perks

"Oh, that's just the wolf talkin" Tom said. "The caf's always smelled like this."

"I can't believe people eat this food" Hal said, feeling nauseous. "At this point it's Darwinism..."

Tom gave his friend a sympathetic pat on the back before retreating to the kitchen.

Without his old, conventional pattern, Hal was starting to feel uneasy. His new self was just too hard to predict. He had no more blood-lust thoughts bouncing around in his head, and even though that was somewhat of a relief, it just felt _wrong_. This sudden change had left him feeling hollow. Hal just wasn't Hal without his constant reorganizing, cleaning and worrying.

Then again, none of them felt that comfortable in their new skin.

"These are startin to get in the way..." Alex said, feeling her new set of vampire teeth with her fingers. "And I really thought getting to eat again would be more enjoyable." She looked disappointed at the half-eaten hamburger in front of her.

"Well you're not exactly human again" Hal said "So right now the only meal you'd fully enjoy is a live one."

"There really aren't that many perks to being a vampire, are there?"

"There really aren't. The worrying, the menial, mindless tasks that come with keeping your mind in check..." Hal paused, feeling nostalgic. "I rather miss all of it. I can't believe that not being a vampire depresses me."

"Well I can't say that not being a ghost depresses me, but it sure as hell was better than this" she said. "D'you wonder if Tom is feeling just as miserable as we are?"

Their gaze trailed to the back of the kitchen, where Tom was busy _rent-a-ghosting several glasses._

"Oh yes, he looks quite torn..." Hal said.

Surprisingly, the little café started to fill up as soon as the afternoon started to set. Between handling orders and trying to keep everything in check, Hal found his hands were a little too full. Especially with the evening rapidly approaching. He was eager to close up the café and head home to make preparations for what would be one bizarre transformation from ex-vampire to werewolf.

By the time he had finished taking his last order it was already getting dark out. Which meant it was time to panic.

Searching for Tom proved to be difficult, especially since his brand new powers enabled him to dart in and out of the places whenever he wanted. But at least Alex was in sight. She was standing by the front door, oddly gazing at a couple who were deep in conversation.

"Alex, we don't stare at the customers" Hal said, directing her away from sight.

"It's not my fault they look appetizing" she mumbled. Her eyes suddenly widened. "Did I just say that?"

Hal quickly motioned her into the kitchen, then crossed over to the fridge. He grabbed two egg cartons and placed them in her hands. "Here. Reorganize these."

"What?" Alex asked, frowning.

"I don't know" Hal said, heading for the back door "just keep your mind busy!"

Outside the café, Tom was leaning on a wall and looking at the world going by.

"It's not fair, you know" he said as soon as he saw Hal, "cookin food for all these people when I can't even have a cup o' tea myself..."

"Listen" Hal said anxious, "we need to close up here before the sun sets."

"Why? It's not like I'm gonna change or anythin."

"We don't know what for sure. Do you really want to risk harming anyone?"

Tom stood silent for a moment, knowing there was only one right answer. The back door soon opened, revealing Alex holding an open carton of eggs.

"I don't really get what I'm supposed to be doing with these" she said, looking at each of them. "What's this, are we having another house meeting?"

"No, but Tom and I need to get ready. There's going to be a full moon in less than an hour."

"I still do get why you don't want to change in the house" Tom said, "I've changed in the forest plenty of times."

Alex chuckled. "He doesn't want to change in the house in case one of us ends up accidentally seein him in his birthday suit."

Hal looked offended. "That is a completely valid reason."

"Well whatever you two decide to do, you'd better get moving" Alex said, gesturing at the darkening sky.

"Then we'll most likely see each other tomorrow morning" Hal said, starting off. "Tom, you better close up here. And Alex, don't... drink anyone."

* * *

Tom had enough experience to know the proper way to handle a change. After closing up the café and heading back to the house with Alex, he calmly locked himself inside the basement. Meanwhile, a very panicked Hal was running through the forest, desperately looking for an area devoid of travelers.

Which was tougher than he realized. Darting passed trees at a million miles an hour would almost guarantee attention from anyone in the vicinity.

Morning saw Tom just as he had been the night before, completely unchanged. He cleaned himself up and left Alex at home to hold the fort before leaving to get the café ready for opening.

Hal returned home unnoticed a few hours later and quietly headed out of sight.

By the time he came down the stairs it was already lunch-time. He sat down in the main room, not really sure what to do.

"There you are" Alex said, coming from the kitchen. "We were starting to worry about you. What happened?"

Hal remained quiet, and his face was unreadable. Almost catatonic. Alex snapped her fingers in front of his eyes. "You alright, wolf-boy?"

"I... had to change last night" he said, as if stuck in a horrible dream.

"Really?"

"Without clothes on."

"Okay..."

"In the forest."

"Well that doesn't sound so bad."

"I woke up with my head inside a half-eaten deer carcass" Hal said, feeling a shiver."I've had eleven showers so far and still can't get the smell of entrails off me."

"I don't suppose you'd try a tomato-soup bath?"

"I've been alive so many decades" Hal said, stuck in his own little world "and I never had to spend the night or run around a forest naked." He paused. "Except that one time."

"Well you're going to have to pull yourself together, because-" Alex frowned. "Do you hear that? I swear it's been ringing in my head all day."

Hal sighed, nostalgic. "Heartbeats."

"What?"

"Vampires can hear the sound of people's heartbeat as long as they're in proximity."

"And this happens all the time?"

"Of course."

Alex was lost in thought for a moment. "I think it's gotten louder since this morning."

"Then it will probably keep amplifying until you finish your transformation."

"And you used to hear this drummin' in your ears every day?" she asked. Hal simply nodded. "How did you stand it?"

"It's background noise. After a while, all you're really hearing anymore is the sound of your dinner announcing itself. It's like hearing chickens going about their day, clucking."

Alex's eyes widened.

"I rather miss it" Hal said suddenly. He caught himself. "I wasn't supposed to say that out loud."

In the blink of an eye Tom appeared in front of them, causing both his friends to jump.

"You're going to give us a heart attack..." Hal said, catching his breath.

"Now that I've stopped fadin in and out as often I don't really mind being a ghost. I think I could get used to it."

"We still need to find a way to fix all this" Alex said "Hal can't keep running around forests with his bonkers OCD and I'm not that happy turning into some vampress. And we're definitely not letting you fade away on us."

"So there's a plan?" Tom asked.

"This whole situation is unprecedented" Hal said, "but I'll try my luck with meeting one of my old contacts."

"But that means you'll be leaving on your own" Alex said, frowning "What about all that stink you made about always keeping an eye on each other?"

"Luckily, I'm only dangerous one day of the month. And you and Tom can take care of things while I'm gone" Hal said, crossing to the front door. "You just make sure you don't drink anyone."

And with that, he was gone.

"I think I'm startin to get offended by that..." Alex said.

* * *

Hal had never really put a lot of faith into his "contacts", but things were starting to get out of hand. And he always hated when he wasn't in control.

He was worried that they would never get to the bottom of things and he'd be stuck into this dog form forever. He was so worried, in fact, that he had completely failed to notice the two men who were following him from the shadows.


	3. A Dog Day Evening

Sorry if the sudden flood of separators is annoying or any characters sound off. I sincerely apologize for these non-technical difficulties. Also, thanks again for the comments!

* * *

Hal was sure his situation would resolve itself by the time the day was out. Maybe even earlier.

After all, he had two friends that had his back, two friends who walked the fine line between man and monster. Well, a ghost wasn't technically a monster, but Hal had seen first hand what such an apparition could do in a pinch.

And even though and he never really approved of his friends' overall mannerisms, he was ready to accept any and all help they could provide. Which would come soon enough.

Any minute now.

He was sitting in a large and rather dark basement, his hands bound behind his back. And he was trying very hard not to touch the brick wall behind him. That thing probably had more things crawling on it than the world had inhabitants. Hal had spent most of his time looking around the room, trying to figure out who had captured him.

It was funny, really.

Whoever had ambushed and sedated him earlier in the day had no idea who they were dealing with. Hal could just as well break through his restraints, smash open the door and tear his captors apart at any time he wanted. Just as soon as his original self was restored, of course.

But until then he'd sit and wait. His friends were surely on their way.

* * *

"I can't believe you've never played Poker before" Alex said, dealing the cards in front of Tom.

Tom shrugged. "Well, McNair was never really one for fun."

"And Hal never taught you?"

"I don't suppose he's one for fun either, is he?" Tom said, trying to make sense of the cards in his hands. "Wonder where he's gone off to."

Alex chuckled. "He's probably driving his contacts mad by re-alphabetizing their things."

"You think so?"

Alex shrugged. "He's probably just stressing out because of his transformation. We don't need to baby him or anything. I mean we're doing fine ourselves. You've stopped fading and I'm doing fine. ... when I'm away from any people."

"I suppose you're right."

"He's a 500 year old grown man, after all I'm sure he can take care of himself" Alex said. "Now let me show you the skilful and yet artistic side of betting..."

* * *

Hal was repeatedly whacking the back of his head into the brick wall behind him. This was all _their_ fault.

He was living with a couple of blithering idiots who didn't even notice when he had been gone an entire afternoon. They were housemates with someone who followed a strict schedule and was always on time everywhere, and they couldn't catch on that something was wrong?

They were all idiots. All of them. He should have enslaved the human race a lot time ago, really. Back when he had the chance. But no, oh no, he had to play _nice_. He was used to be respected, loved and feared. He used to have a shield too, for god's sake. And now this is what his future looked like? Shackled in some basement, with god knows what crawling on the floor beneath his feet. He was going to make them pay once he was out.

A series of footsteps began to echo from outside, getting closer and closer to the basement. A few seconds later the door opened with a swing. It was too dark to make out any details, and before Hal could even catch a glimpse of his captors, a boy was thrown into the basement. And the door was promptly shut.

The boy had been tied up in a similar fashion to Hal, and looked to be no older than 12. And he definitely smelled like a werewolf.

Now Hal was going to be stuck with someone whose simple presence was a constant reminder of the change he had been forced into. Wonderful. Tom and Alex were definitely going to pay for this one.

"So you're the new dog everyone keeps yammerin' about" the boy said, sitting on the cold floor.

Hal simply frowned."Be quiet, little man. I'm busy."

"Doin' what?"

"Planning multiple murders."

The boy scoffed. "I'd never get to lay one finger on me."

"I wasn't talking about you."

"They're going to rip you to pieces, you know"

Hal raised an eyebrow "And who exactly is _they_?"

"The other dogs."

Hal felt the penny drop. _Of course_. His captors were vampires. But ones that didn't recognize him or found it odd that he carried the distinctions of a werewolf, which meant they were probably a newly arrived group. And there was only one reason why vampires would want to catch and chain up multiple werewolves.

"They're going to force us into dog fights."

The boy rolled his eyes. "Now gee mister, and here I thought they brought us here for a nice holiday."

"But the full moon was yesterday" Hal said, confused. Things really didn't make any sense. "They can't keep us imprisoned here for 29 days."

"'Course they can. But they don't have to."

"What do you mean?"

"You didn't hear the blood-suckers talkin' about their plan?" The boy's expression suddenly turned very grave. "They say they've found a way to force us into changin' without the moon."

* * *

Nightfall was quickly approaching, and the housemates were starting to get upset. Alex was finding it harder and harder to teach Tom the artistry of gambling without anything of actual value in the house to bet on. It was getting really frustrating.

"Well what about Captain OCD's room?" Alex said suddenly. "He has to keep things in there that's expensive."

Tom shook his head. "I don't think he'd appreciate his room being looked into very much."

But before he had even finished objecting, Alex was already half-way up the stairs. Tom followed with a sigh.

"Don't you think it's about time we start to worry about him not being back?" he asked, walking up the stairs. Tom found himself freeze as soon as he saw Alex.

She was standing outside Hal's room, and looked positively shell-shocked.

A door had appeared in the hallway, only a few feet away from them. There were several beams of light peering from behind it, and a gentle, low hum was coming from beyond.

"Alex, is that...?"

"It is..." Alex said, eyes wide. "Question is... whose door is it?"


	4. A Reckless Rescue

This chapter is probably the silliest way I've ever tried to write myself out of a corner. Sorry about that. (Good thing I placed that "don't expect logic" warning in the summary.)

* * *

The door was really old. The hinges were rusty and the woodwork was cracked and scratched from years of use. It looked like it could belong in someone's memory, or inside an old photo album.

Tom and Alex felt like they had stared at it for hours. And it wasn't just because they didn't know why the door had appeared so suddenly and senselessly. But because it didn't look familiar in the least.

"Maybe it's not meant for one of us" Alex said eventually, "the door could belong to any other ghost who lives around. Maybe it's an accident."

Tom frowned. "Think Purgatory can make mistakes?"

"But Annie said the door should look familiar if it was meant for us."

"Then it's not for me" Tom said, "I don't remember any fancy doors on McNair's camper van."

Alex stopped to consider her bad luck. Her seemingly only chance to pass through her door came at a time she wasn't even a ghost anymore. And her decision seemed to have already been made for her.

"I can't go now that Hal's missing..."

"What if you won't get another chance?" Tom asked in a small voice.

Sacrificing her only shot at making it to the afterlife was something Alex never thought she'd ever have to do. Especially for someone who had caused her sudden death. And drank her blood. And acted like an ass on their date.

For a moment Alex reconsidered rescuing him. Hal had been a really rubbish friend. But even if she still held a grudge, she wasn't heartless. (Even though her current heart wasn't exactly beating.)

Alex backed away from the door, hoping it would still be there when they returned.

"If we go after Hal we're going to need a lot of stakes" Alex said, heading into Tom's room. Luckily they had more than they could carry. "We can't go charging empty-handed into whatever trouble he's gotten himself into."

Alex felt good about her plan as she picked up a backpack and started throwing bundles of stakes inside. She had walked into a vampire nest before, after all. Except that it was with Annie and she was ghost and not a vampire who could be spotted a mile away. But one problem at a time. Such as figuring out where Hal actually was.

"You sure we should go around staking Hal's contacts?" Tom asked, looking uneasy.

"Well they're not so nice if they got him in trouble, now are they? We just have to find a way to get to him. Any ideas?"

"Well Hal's a werewolf now" Tom said "And you're a vampire."

Alex frowned, not really getting it.

"When I was a werewolf I could catch the scent of a vampire even without trying" Tom went on.

Alex stopped packing."You want me to be a bloodhound?"

"Just until we find him is all."

"Would that even work? There have to be dozens of other vampire groups in the city."

"But they're all different" Tom said. "...and you could tell Hal apart because of your hate for him. And maybe there's still some ghost left in you that could help you."

Alex had to admit he did have a point. A rather silly one, but a plan nonetheless.

* * *

Hal couldn't remember what had happened to him the previous day. He couldn't even remember how long he had been stuck in that damned basement. The hours tended to bleed together into something indescribable, as if he had been drugged.

Which actually made a lot of sense.

Wonderful.

He had spent weeks struggling to detox, swearing his head off and feeling all kinds of hunger pains. And now he was swapping one addiction for another. He was starting to understand why people hated vampires so much. Even though, deep down, he was missing some aspects of his past self.

500 years struggling with his condition and Hal never thought he'd ever miss it.

* * *

The cool night air of Bristol was keeping Alex's head relatively clean of any vampire-related thoughts. Though not by much. Walking down any street that had midnight joggers or dog walkers was proving to be annoying. There were too many heartbeats echoing around and it was distracting.

Still, Alex did her best to focus on finding her newly changed werewolf friend.

"What about there?" Tom asked, gesturing towards the east. "Picking up anything yet?"

Alex focused for a moment. "No, I'm feeling nothing but love for whatever's two streets over."

Tom frowned for a moment.

"Oh, I know what it is" Alex said with a smile. "English muffins."

"I'm not so sure anymore if this is working..." Tom said, scratching his head.

The two eventually decided that whenever Alex would feel a vampire nearby, Tom would rent-a-ghost inside, sneak around and leave before arising suspicion. Which was both a good and bad idea, as leaving Alex by herself around dozens of insomniacs riddling the streets was rather risky.

Still, Tom had only found her leering at a passer-by a couple of times. Whatever ghost remnants Alex had in her vampire form were helping her stay focused.

Several hours (and false alarms) later, the two had settled in front of an old theater, long abandoned and barely standing.

"You're sure he's in there?" Tom asked.

"I'm getting nothing but contempt from inside there" she said nodding. "Definitely Hal."

Breaking in proved to be no problem when a ghost was there to help, and the two quickly made their way into the building. Besides the various spots that were dimly illuminated, the entire theater seemed sunken in darkness. Typically vampire.

Luckily, it was close to sunrise, and the vampires seemed to have picked that time frame to take a long nap. Even so, sneaking around a building filled with supernaturals was hazardous, and Alex did her best to guide Tom and zero-in on her friend. They made their way down two sets of stairs before Alex found her feet stop in front of a rusty door.

They pushed it open.

They were greeted by a restrained Hal, looking rougher around the edges. And he was smiling.

"Hal? You alright, mate?" Tom asked, taking a few careful steps inside.

"I am... fantastic" Hal said, still smiling, "oh and there's Alex! Hello Alex!" He chuckled. "You're a vampire now."

"And you're high, by the looks of it" Alex said, keeping an eye on the door. "What happened?"

"I had a nice chat with the other vampires. Did you know they said I make a really useful dog?" Hal seemed nostalgic. "What a lovely bunch of people."

Tom felt something was off as he inspected the basement. The entire room was in disarray, the walls filled with scratches and missing bricks. There were strands of fur all over the floor."

"Wait... did a werewolf change in here recently?" he asked.

Hal just nodded briskly and pointed at himself. Alex and Tom looked at each other, confused.

"How is that possible? The full moon was a day ago."

"Oh, they shot me up full of something that made me sleepy" Hal said, his eyes tracking something that didn't exist on the walls.

"They forced him into changing..." Tom said, trying to make heads or tails of the situation.

But there was no time for asking questions, as a series of footsteps were echoing from a nearby staircase. They needed to get out of there, something which would prove difficult once a restrained and giddy werewolf was thrown into the mix.


	5. A Reckless Rescue II

Many thanks to the people who are still reading this little weird piece. I'll do my best to be more interesting and stop writing myself into corners. (Which I hope will happen sometime soon. *insert I-have-no-idea-what-I'm-doing-here meme*)

* * *

It was impressive how quickly a tired vampire could move once he was alerted. Tom and Alex frantically tried to get Hal to stop mumbling and moving around while the footsteps drew closer. But there was no point. There was no time to make an escape.

A bored looking vampire appeared at the door.

"Who are-?" he began, but stopped himself. A tired expression appeared on his face. "A ghost, a vampire and a werewolf working together... Really? _Again_?"

Tom and Alex looked at each other for a moment.

"That happens a lot around here?" Tom asked.

"We heard about it happening at the funeral home months ago and then again at—why am I talking to you two again?" The vampire sighed and quietly shut the door behind him. "Listen, everyone up there is tired and sleeping after a busy day, so I'll make your evisceration as quick as possible, alright?"

The vampire's eyes turned black and he calmly walked towards them.

Alex retreated a few steps, trying to figure out what to do. The bag she had brought along was in the basement corner, behind the vampire. It was unreachable. With Hal restrained and Tom missing his usual werewolf strength, all the pressure fell on her. But she had only been a vampire for a few days and had no idea how to use her newfound abilities. How was she supposed to confront him? How was she supposed to stake him without a stake? And would her eyes tuning black really help at all?

A brick suddenly flew above her head, and struck the vampire square in the forehead. He promptly fell down.

Alex gazed at Tom, stunned. He simply shrugged. "Can we get moving now?"

The two looked at Hal. It was difficult to try and understand anything coming from him in his delirious state, so the attention was turned at his bindings.

"These are conventional shackles with a lock" Alex said, giving them tug, "like in the old films. Bloody vampires really do love the stereotype, don't they?"

"I don't suppose we could just break them open?"

"Not unless the vamps have a toolbox handy" Alex said, shaking her head. "We need to get the key."

After checking the pockets of the vampire they had brought down up, the two spent a few minutes bouncing ideas off each other, putting together a plan.

It was a risky plan. A stupid one, really. Posing as a new recruit and trying to sneak among the other vampires while on the lookout for a teeny-tiny key couldn't possibly work, could it? But it's not like there was a lot of time for a full-fledged brainstorming session.

"Alright, you've been around vampires more than me" Alex told Tom, "so just give me the short version. What are they like in a group?"

Tom thought for a moment. "They're always bragging."

"Alright."

"No patience."

"Uh huh."

"They get nervous over anything and love to keep things tidy."

"Are you just describing Hal now?" Alex asked, frowning.

"Well McNair and me never really stopped to chat with the vampires we hunted, did we?"

Alex left the basement with not much more confidence than before, but at least she knew that Tom would be relatively safe. If anyone were to check the room, he could, hopefully, simply rent-a-ghost outside before he was even spotted.

Following the staircase, Alex found herself in a maze of rooms, all containing sleeping vampires or ones who were ambling about. The windows had been boarded up (something she was actually grateful for), and it was quiet, with only very few mumbles or laughs echoing around her. But even if she was now technically a vampire, Alex didn't feel like them at all.

She felt out of place. The entire atmosphere was eerie.

Alex wandered through the building as quietly as she could, trying not to disturb anything or anyone. A young vampire suddenly appeared in front of her.

"Hey, you new round here?"

"Just settling in" Alex said, nodding.

"You want to get some breakfast? Come on, I'll split the couple across the street with you. They're always wandering the alleyways behind the theatre this time of day."

Alex wasn't sure how to react. The right thing to do would be to deny such an invitation, but that would look suspicious. On the other hand, she had little time for running around after "breakfast". No matter how tempting that sounded.

"I'll see you later" she said, "need to get a few things done first. You wouldn't know where they keep the cages for the dog fights, would you?"

"You really _are_ new, aren't ya?" The vampire pointed past her, over at another set of stairs. "Through there."

* * *

When Alex walked back into the basement she noticed nothing out of the ordinary. Save for the multiple bricks by the door, speckled with blood.

She looked at Tom. "What happened?"

"Well, he kept waking up," Tom said, gesturing at the vampire who they had tackled mere minutes before. "I had to keep him quiet somehow. Did you find the key?"

"Better" Alex said, as she showed Tom a small notebook she had been hiding in her jacket. "Some of the vampires wrote in here. About how they're forcing the werewolves to change. The writing's pretty muddled but I think we'll be able to work it out."

"What about Hal?" Tom asked, pointing at their friend who had, curiously, almost fallen asleep.

Alex retrieved a key chain from her pocket and tried each of the keys into the lock that was holding Hal. A few moments later, he was finally free.

"Up you go" Alex said, trying to get him to his feet.

Hal tried resisting and mumbled something that sounded like "you're bossy", but eventually managed to stand on his own two feet, albeit with a little help.

"So now how do we get out of here?" Tom asked, supporting Hal. "Someone's going to see us draggin' him along for sure."

Alex thought for a moment. An idea suddenly popped in her head, and she motioned for Tom to wait while she went out of the basement.

A few minutes later, and the tree were stumbling out of the building, without a vampire in sight. Tom couldn't believe his eyes.

"I thought for sure they'd follow us" he said, "what'd you do?"

* * *

_Thirty seconds earlier..._

Alex tip-toed back upstairs, keeping to the shadows. She casually pulled out a book of matches, lit one, and threw the entire book into a pile of old rags.

* * *

"I like to think I have my ways" Alex said, smiling.

By the time they managed to get back home, it was well into the afternoon. And they were all tired. Hal, who had never really been awake in the first place, fell asleep quietly on the couch. Tom and Alex tried to do the same, but there were still things to take care of. One of which was staring them right in the face.

The door was still there.

It had been hours since it had initially made its appearance, but the door had refused to disappear. Tom and Alex decided that it was best to decide what should be done after a few hours of shut-eye. They each retreated to their separate rooms and tried to get some sleep, all the while feeling their mind constantly gnawed at by the different problems they would have to face. They had to deal with their bizarre transformation, a recently appeared door, and the new vampire group who had, somehow, managed to trigger werewolves to transform at will.

Sleep wouldn't come easy.


	6. Putting the Pieces Together

I know I'm kind of stretching and bending the Being Human mythos here, so I hope no one will get offended. It's supposed to be silly and all in good fun. And, as always, thank you for the comments/follows/etc!

* * *

As soon as lucidity struck him, Hal realized the state he had been in the past few hours. The recent transformation he had been forced into left him looking very unlike himself.

"So he's been locked in the bathroom ever since about 6AM" Alex told Tom the next morning.

"You're sure he's alright?"

"He sounds ok. Though I think I heard him sobbing after his second shower."

"Poor bloke's never had to deal with transformations before. Least of all two in one week." "What'd he say about the door?"

"Oh, he didn't notice" Alex said, a bit amused. "Made right for the bathroom. Hal's used to always being the one in control, though. Don't you think seein the door it would drive him over the edge?"

Tom shrugged. "Well it's not like we can hide it from him, can we?"

Alex felt a mischievous smile creep up on her.

Hal was notorious for his morning bathroom routine, which gave them plenty of time to try and hide the eyesore that had appeared oh so uninvited in their home. But Alex and Tom learned very quickly that hiding something of the supernatural wouldn't be easy. A blanket offered little to no help at obstructing the light peering underneath the door. Not to mention that hanging it on a wall was more than noticeable. After wasting several minutes pushing bodies of furniture in front of the door, Tom and Alex were running out of ideas.

With the sound of running water dying down, the two settled for one last, desperate attempt.

Hal exited the bathroom, bleary-eyed and intending to make a beeline for his bedroom for a well-deserved rest. Instead, he stopped in his tracks when he found his two flat-mates sitting conspicuously, side-by-side, in front of a wall.

Hal raised an eyebrow. "What's going on?"

"Oh nothin'..." Tom said as sincerely as he could.

"Are you trying to hide something? Because you're doing a terrible job at it."

Alex looked offended. "Hiding? Us? We were just waiting for you to get out of the bathroom. You take forever in there."

"I can clearly see something behind you two. Is that a door?"

"No, no such thing back here" Tom said, shifting his position.

"...there's definite light coming from behind you."

Alex sighed and moved away from the wall, pulling Tom with her, and revealing the door in all its ominous might.

"It appeared out of nowhere the day you were kidnapped" she said. "We didn't know what to do, so we just tried ignoring it."

Hal simply stared at wall, more confused than panicky.

"Whose door is it?" he finally asked.

"Don't know" Tom said, shrugging. "It makes no sense being either of us."

"So it just appeared one day without any sense or reason" Hal said. "And it refuses to disappear even though that's what's supposed to happen."

"You've seen this before?" Alex asked.

Hal shook his head. "Never."

"Bit peculiar, that" Alex said, frowning. "500 year old vampire who's seen wars and all sort of impossible things but never encountered anything like this before."

In an instant, Hal felt a light turn on in his brain, and his eyes grew wide.

"What's happening?" Tom asked, confused.

"Someone's playing us" Hal said, feeling a voice screaming _'of course!_' in his head. "Someone's deliberately trying to mess with our heads! We're all being played for fools and we never even realized it because all these ridiculous things have been thrown at us. Someone who possesses greater abilities than us has taken it up as their own personal quest to make our lives miserable."

"Are you sure that's what it is?" Tom asked.

"No. But I can't find another explanation for everything that's happened to us."

"But who'd want to do all these things?" Alex asked, frowning. "And why?"

"That's what we have to find out." Hal gestured at the door before them.

"Oh, wow, we're not going through there" Alex said, taking a step back. "Annie said that leads to Purgatory or some sort. We might never come back."

The three stood in silence for a moment, trying to find another reason behind their nonsensical situation.

"I hate to say it" Tom said suddenly "but Hal's right. There's nothing else we can do right now."

Hal nodded along. "We need to get back to the root of this problem before it escalates even more. We can't keep up trying to live as each other. And if we keep missing work days we're going to get sacked." His voice fell small. "...if we haven't already."

The two men looked at Alex, who was weighing the decision in her head. She didn't want to admit that a part of what made her so weary of the door was her past experience as a ghost. Feeling immaterial and not of this world was not a feeling she was eager to have again.

But now she had to think of her friends' well being.

"Alright" she said finally. "I'm in. But I'm not going blindly in there, I need to make some preparations first."

Before she even finished talking, Alex was already heading down the stairs and towards the front door, forcing Hal and Tom to follow.

"Preparations?" Hal asked, frowning. "What preparations? Where are you going?"

"We don't know what's behind that door. And I don't want to be caught by surprise and killed. ...again."

"You're off by yourself, then?" Tom asked.

"Oh I'll be fine" she reassured him. Alex stopped by the table in the main room and picked up a small, black notebook. "And I'd prefer it if you two stayed behind. Maybe you could make sense of this till I get back?" She handed Hal the notebook before crossing the room to the front door.

"I promise I'll only be gone a couple of hours" she said, as Hal and Tom leafed through the notes.

"No, wait..." Hal turned the open notebook towards her. "You didn't tell me the notes were written in Hebrew."

"That's a problem?"

"Just because I'm 500 years old I should be able to speak Hebrew?"

"Well... yeah. You mean you can't?"

Hal started fidgeting in place, feeling uncomfortable. "Well I never got round to learning it. I was busy with other matters at the time."

"Like killing?"

"... not exclusively."

"Well there are loads of books in the attic" Tom said, pointing behind him "I'm sure we'll be able to figure something out."

* * *

"This is horrible" Hal said, shaking his head. "Nothing here makes sense."

Hal and Tom felt as if they spent an eternity in the attic, going through boxes over boxes of old books and dictionaries. They didn't even know who they belonged to.

Tom didn't raise his head from the mountain of books as he asked: "What'd you mean nothing makes sense?"

"The words aren't even in the right order" Hal said, shaking his head at the piece of paper he had used to write his translation.

Tom peeked over his shoulder and started reading out loud. "To serum dog transform power when arm."

Hal rubbed his head, trying to keep it from exploding. "I can't figure out if those vampires are illiterate or just suffer from severe dyslexia."

"Maybe we're not translating it right."

"No, I've done this before years ago when I needed to read the grave inscriptions off of-" He caught Tom's surprised look. "...never mind."

"Maybe you're right" Tom said "About all this being caused by someone."

"It sure seems like it. It's as if everything that's happened to us since the day we woke up different doesn't add up." He pushed the notebook aside. "Nothing adds up."

They heard the front door suddenly open and close, and the two friends decided to abandon their mountain of books, and head downstairs.

Hal felt his legs freeze as soon as he saw Alex.

"Oh god... is that a shotgun?"

Alex smiled wide as she displayed her new AA 12 shotgun. "What'd you think? I borrowed it from the gun store four streets over."

"_Borrowed_?"

"Well I just grabbed it from the counter when the owner went back to check the-" Alex stopped when she saw the disapproval on Hal's face. "Well I'm taking it right back once we're done with it..."

"Why do we need a shotgun again?" Tom asked.

"Well we don't know what's on the other side of that door, now do we? We'd best be prepared for anything."

"Alex, I don't think guns can hurt whatever resides in Purgatory." Hal said.

"You sure you want to chance it?"

Hal had to admit she had a point. The gun would have to stay, no matter how impractical a decision that was.

"So, are we ready to go?" Tom asked, looking at the others.

With a shotgun in their arsenal, the three slowly made their way up the stairs and stopped before the door. After taking a deep breath, Tom opened the door, looking away from the strong light hitting his face.

And they stepped inside.


	7. Through the Door

Well, here's the final part of my little story. I hope it makes sufficient sense, seeing as I seriously had no idea where I was headed with this when I first started writing it. I ended up having a bunch of fun with it, though. (I usually can never keep to deadlines or write more than two sentences for a story before getting bored.) So major thanks to all of you for your comments, faves and overall encouragement!

* * *

As soon as the door closed behind them, the trio found themselves in a never-ending corridor with doors on each side. A sudden eerie silence encircled the passage, and absolutely nothing stirred. They felt as if they were breaking into someone's home.

The three took only one step on the cold floor until they started feeling something shift within themselves.

"D'you feel that?" Alex asked, readying her shotgun.

Hal simply frowned. "I think... whatever curse was placed on us is wearing of."

"My wolf sense of smell is coming back" Tom said.

"And I'm definitely starting to feel... ghosty again" Alex said, "I feel grounded, though. Even more so than back at the house." She peered around her, as if sensing something beyond the corridor walls. "There's all sorts of powers swimming about in here. Do you feel it?"

The boy shook their heads, not understanding whether her ghost form was catching onto something, or if it was just the stress. But then again Alex was the one who was closest to death than the rest of them.

"At least we're finally reverting to our old selves." Hal said, happy to be able to feel his pointy set of teeth again. "Though I never thought I'd ever miss being a blood-thirsty killer..."

"I don't suppose we could just turn back now? Head home?" Tom asked.

Alex shook her head. "The door's vanished. But we shouldn't leave just yet, anyway. We have to find whoever did this to us."

"I don't see how we'll be able to accomplish that..." Hal said, staring at the massive number of doors. They all had a distinct look about them, but figuring out what that meant was beyond their understanding.

"Then there's only one thing we can do."

Without another word, Alex took a few steps and stopped before the first door to her right. She twisted the knob and made sure to have one foot on her side of the threshold before pushing the door open. A wave of sunshine burst through the opening, and the trio had to shield their eyes for a moment.

They were looking at a park. A couple of boys dressed for summer were running around a large patch of grass so green that it looked like it belonged on a postcard. An older man was sitting on a bench next to them, trying to keep them within earshot.

"Those... those were my brothers when they were little" Alex said, a bit dazed. "And that's my father. He used to take us to the park to play soccer during summer holiday."

"Who's that other boy next to them?" Hal asked.

"...that's me."

Hal had to bite his tongue before he'd comment on how he was amazed she grew up as feminine as she did, surrounded by so many boys.

"I miss them..." Alex said in a small voice.

"Why don't you go say hi?" Tom suggested. "If it's just a memory, there's no harm, is there?"

Alex shook her head slowly. "It's probably what this place would want me to do. And I don't want to get stuck in here." She backed away and closed the door. "Not when we still have things to do."

The three glanced at the multitude of choices they had before them.

"Are we supposed to just pick doors at random?" Hal asked, looking around the passageway. "This corridor seems infinite."

Alex smiled. "Well we won't know what's behind them until we try, now will we?"

The group decided it was best to split up momentarily, and cover more ground on their own. They just had to be careful and not to step beyond the threshold.

After several minutes, they had already figured out the pattern. Whoever pulled open a door would, somehow, cause a memory from their own their life to appear beyond it. It was only a matter of twisting the door knob. This was not lost on Hal, who had started to dawdle most of time, and attempted to look busy only when his friends glanced at him.

"Oh, well this is pretty recent" Alex said, looking through a door.

"What is?" Hal asked.

Alex opened the door wider to reveal Hal and herself sitting in a pub. Hal's head was on the table, surrounded by bottles and glasses.

"You took me to a _pub_? Why don't I remember anything about that?"

"I just wanted to get back at Drunk Hal" Alex said, smiling.

Hal simply frowned at her. "What are you talking about?"

"You were a bloody ass the last time we were out drinking. And Drunk Hal never said a peep about all the drinks I kept handing him. Don't worry, though, you just passed out and a few patrons drew on your face."

"They... drew on my face." Hal looked distraught.

"Which is actually doubly funny because, without seeing your reflection, you had no idea what happened the next day."

* * *

It was difficult, if not impossible to keep track of how time passed in Purgatory. They had to have spent hours searching the doors.

Despite this fact, Tom never found himself getting frustrated. Quite the contrary. Since he had been raised by a man who used to press himself to be constantly on the move, Tom had never had the opportunity to take pictures or make any such sort of tangible memories. So he was rather enjoying taking a glimpse into his past.

He was looking through a door which had lead him to a particularly recent memory. His 19th birthday.

McNair had never been one to show much emotion, if any at all, but for Tom's 19th, he had parked the camper van in front of a lake and had cleared the entire day. No hunting, no running. It was just the two of them, enjoying breakfast in a quiet forest, next to a beautiful lake.

It was a simple memory, nothing exactly spectacular about it. And yet Tom found that it sprung in his mind as a defining moment. A moment where McNair showed that maybe hunting vampires wasn't at the top of his list.

Alex had just finished closing the door on her high school graduation party when she spotted Tom looking nostalgic. She decided to let him have his space. Instead, she noticed a certain vampire hanging about.

"Hal?"

Hal did his best to look innocent. "Yes?"

"Have you just been standing around here doing nothing?"

"...no. I'm just tired. I feel like we've been in here forever."

"Hold on. Are you scared?"

"We're in Purgatory, Alex, of course I'm feeling a bit scared. 500 years alive and I've never had to come so close to the afterlife."

"But we'll be alright. You're almost immortal, Tom is stronger than all of us, and I'm already dead. Nothing can happen. Just open one door."

Hal moved away from the door next to him. "I'd rather I didn't, thank you."

"Come on, don't be a wuss" Alex said, "Tom and I opened a whole lot of doors and we're alright."

"That's because you two weren't killers in your past" Hal said, as he starting to pace the corridor. "I know the things I've done in all the time I was alive, and – trust me – you won't want to. Then there's the possibility that I'll end up seeing scenes from my childhood. And I was born in a brothel. Are you sure you'd want to see all that?"

Alex just looked amused at his nervous demeanor. "Hal, both Tom and me took care of you during your detox, and I saw you drink my own blood long after I died. I think it's safe to say we've seen you at your worst." She gently pushed him in front of a door. "Now come on, just open it. Nothing bad is going to happen."

Hal tentatively reached out for the door. Alex was right after all, wasn't she? He was basically immortal to anyone who didn't have a stake handy. What could happen?

After grabbing hold of the door knob and turning it, Hal gently pulled on the door, just enough for him to take a peek.

– and he abruptly slammed it shut.

"What did you see?" Alex asked, curious.

Hal looked almost shell-shocked.

"What?"

He just shook his head, eyes wide.

"Oh come on, what could be so bad?"

"A battlefield riddled with bloodied corpses?"

Alex paused. "Yeah, that is bad..."

"We're going nowhere" Hal said, rubbing his head, "We'll be here for weeks before we find the proper door. And here you are lugging that ridiculous gun around even though I told you it wouldn't help us at all."

Alex was ready to come back with a reply when an idea popped in her head. She casually slid the safety off. Then she shot at the wall next to them.

A rain of dust and debris flew over them, and a tremor echoed loudly through the corridor.

"What's happening?" Tom asked through the dust.

"Alex just shot a hole through Purgatory!"

"So we're taking the building down with us now?"

"Well Hal said we'd take ages to find a proper door, so I figure it would be faster to make our own."

As soon as the dust died down, the three saw that Alex's handiwork had made an opening. It lead to a maze of small, empty rooms, all painted white.

If it was possible, Hal felt his already lacking enthusiasm deflate even more.

"If I'm honest, Alex, I don't think I see how a row of never-ending rooms is an improvement over the never-ending doors."

"Don't be daft now" she said, and motioned inside "come on."

The three carefully stepped through the makeshift door and entered the maze. The walls carried no distinctive marks whatsoever, and Hal knew it was only a matter of time before they would get lost. Luckily, while the maze was, visually, the same all round, it definitely didn't scary the same sound.

"Do you hear that?" Tom asked, listening intently with the help of his wolf hearing.

Alex shook her head.

"I don't hear anything either" Hal said.

Without another word, Tom quickened his step and made his way through the maze, causing his friends to follow suit. Soon enough, both Alex and Hal began to hear what Tom had been listening to.

"Is that someone... laughing?" Hal asked, confused. Who would be laughing in Purgatory?

The two kept following Tom as he took sudden turns into the maze, and they eventually broke into a run, getting closer and closer to whoever was laughing. They stopped before a door that had been left ajar.

Tom pushed it open, revealing a large room, decorated as if it had been ripped out of the Buckingham palace. In the middle there was a small table, and two people sitting around it, drinking tea.

"I say, Reginald" the man said in a fake English accent "I do believe they've finally cracked it."

The girl giggled. "Did you see how much it took them before they realized that notebook was nothing but gibberish?"

The two broke in a fit of laughter, and placed their tea cups aside.

"Sorry, just making a little fun of you Brits."

"Who are you lot?" Tom asked, confused.

"I'm Jack, and this is Erica" the man said "We're just like you three. 'Course we have a massive edge, seeing as we've been stuck here in Purgatory for the better part of twenty years."

"We know this place inside-out" the woman added.

"You've been here twenty _years_?" Hal asked, "How is that possible?"

The woman shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe The Powers That Be made a mistake when we died, and we just slipped through the cracks. Maybe they're trying to punish us. All we know is that we're stuck here in limbo. We made our selves comfortable, of course" she said, gesturing at the lavish decor. "Modifying memories can be so much fun."

Alex raised an eyebrow."So you're ghosts?"

"That's certainly how we started. Now we've probably mutated into something more powerful since then. Spending a couple of decades in one place tends to do that to you. When you're not bored out of your skull, that is."

"Boredom?" Hal asked, "Wait, are you the ones who have been playing us?"

"In the flesh" the man said, smiling. "Well, figuratively speaking Things get ever so dull down here."

"So you've been terrorizing us for days out of _boredom_?"

"Well, sure, that was part of it" Jack said, a bit amused "But we're not that evil. We were really trying to help you."

"_Help_ us?" Hal was starting to feel enraged "By harassing us and getting kidnapped and— Do you have any idea how painful it is to change into a werewolf? I had to change twice!"

"Exactly" the man said "Had you three ever known what the others felt without this little experiment? Now you've learned to appreciate each other, to understand what the others have to deal with."

"We just gave you a shove in the right direction" the woman added.

"So this was just an experiment to you?" Tom asked.

"I say it worked out quite well for both parties. We're no longer bored and you three can now get along famously. Tell the truth, you all feel closer than ever, don't you? "

The three did their best to frown and look annoyed, but they knew the two crazy ghosts had a point. Their methods were unorthodox, sure, but then again so was their friendship.

"And now that we're all much more understanding people – and ghosts" the man said, standing "we can show you the exit."

Alex frowned. "After all this running around, you're just going to let us go?"

"Well, we're done with you lot. You were actually starting to get boring there at the end."

"You'll all be returned just as before" the woman promised, "No more games. Now off you go."

The door on the wall behind the couple slowly opened with a creak. An ominous light peered through it. The three crossed the room to it, almost mesmerized at the thought of returning home to normalcy.

"Just tell us one thing first" Hal said, stopping at the threshold. "How did you do it? How did you make us change?"

A devious smile appeared on the man's face."Spend twenty years in Purgatory, you learn a thing or two."

And with that, the group was drawn beyond the door by whatever supernatural powers it held. And they only saw darkness.

* * *

As soon as the trio stepped back on the other side, they all turned around to face the wall.

The door had disappeared completely. It left no trail of its existence. The group stared at the empty wall in disbelief, half-tired, half wondering if it would reappear as soon as they blinked.

But it was gone for good.

"Well, home at last..." Alex said, placing the gun down, "I don't know about you boys, but I think a nap is in order."

"Are you sure you can sleep now that you're a ghost again?" Tom asked.

Alex simply shrugged and headed for her room, just glad to be somewhere that wasn't an infinite corridor.

Hal and Tom sat down on the floor in front of the wall, exhausted, with not much clue what to do next. It felt somewhat bizarre to be themselves again.

"I suppose we should go back to work tomorrow" Tom said finally. "Ask the boss not to sack us..."

"Should tidy up around here too" Hal added.

"Put things back where they were."

"First thing's first, though" Hal said, looking worried. "We really need to hide that shotgun from Alex..."


End file.
